Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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