the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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