Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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