he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
