you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Randomize
