I got chris browned last night
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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