I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
