I want to stick my p in your. b.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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