Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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