Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
