look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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