Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
