girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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