I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
