I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
