Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
