Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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