idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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