this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
