You're a womanizer and a bitch.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
