Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
