Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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