dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
