Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
