if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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