His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
