i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
