i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
