What did we do last night that was yellow?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
