Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
