Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
