i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
