Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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