ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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