so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
