well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
She needs sedatives and a leash
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
