I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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