Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
