what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
