it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
