i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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