How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
