Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
as a side note pls kill me
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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