For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
