Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
