The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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