What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
