There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
