i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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