i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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